Please don’t  ‘Aaaawwww!’

Just like D’banj,  I have a confession, but no, I will not be dancing while confessing . Lately, I have been scrolling through these facebook pages about make up and women looking glamorous. Before you jump into conclusions, it is not a fetish.  I just do it to pass time and those women kind of inspire me. I mean, how do you manage to look that good, with eyebrows speaking louder than words? 

Nothing much is happening in my life, so apart from looking at glowing faces, I have also been listening to Chaka Khan and telling myself that ‘I’m every woman and I  got it all’  when in reality, I feel like I am in a No life crisis. I wonder what went wrong, because when I was younger, my friends and I used to watch a lot of  Nigerian movies (Please, don’t act like Nollywood did not have a hand in shaping your imagination, because we all know it did.)  and looked forward to how exciting our lives would be. We dreamt of living in one room and sleeping on a mattress on the floor and being invited to lots of parties. Yeah, such dreams exist. But right now I do not need to lie to you about the parties I have attended, because here I am! 

Okay, enough about dreams because I think Lupita Nyong’o already said it all.  

Have you ever come across someone and they just made you feel better about yourself? Well,  it happens to me at times. Like, that ‘Sicho ‘  girl from Nairobi Diaries. Truth is,  as probably you can tell, I have never met her, but she did make me feel great about myself and you should be feeling the same way too by now. 
She is not the only person I have come across who I think is psychotic. There was this guy once who cried just so he could get laid. He literally cried for it, but that is a story for another day. 

If only boys were as good as chocolate, I would not need to talk about them as much as I do.  My brother once asked me what today’s men eat that makes them less macho than they used to be. I had no answer, and I still don’t have it, but also wondering what it is they eat. 

I have this friend who tends to act very manly, or at least that is what I thought. He is always rushing people and handles his problems alone as ‘a man’ . I did not have a problem with him until one day when he was watching  a video of Sauti Sol performing and then his reaction was a very long and clear “Aaaawwwwww! “

What?  I gave him ‘the look’  but he did not get it . He just looked at me like it was okay for him to go all ‘Aaawww! ‘  and focused back on his video. 

Personally, I do not ‘Aaaawwww! ‘  so, why should he? At that moment,  I also noticed that he frequently used the ‘blushing monkey’ emoji. I have nothing against the emoji, but it creates images in my head when a guy uses it. Images I would rather not talk about .

As soon as I had thought that I had seen it all,  I received a notification that someone had written on my timeline. I didn’t want to check immediately but curiosity got the better part of me.
‘Dhnx fir di add. Nakurank Xana.’   He had written. That did it. 

Why can’t someone just write the normal English that all of us can understand? 

So,  after writing ‘dhnx’ , what did they do with all the time they saved instead of writing ‘thanks ‘ ?

I feel like I am going along that ‘Boy child is no longer manly ‘ road, because it is certainly happening. How then do you explain the skinny jeans, pouting in selfies and carrying around selfie sticks? 

Fellas, get rid of those selfie sticks and maybe go get a testosterone jab. 

Anyway, it is never that serious.

Have a great week.  

Nawarank Sana ! =)

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Author: thisismukasa

Words wreck me, just as much as they make me. 😉

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